Random Thought 128 - Bullying

I don't know if it is safe to say that at one particular time in our lives, we have been bullied.  

I have a so-called friend whom I always have high regards and treated him fairly.  There were exceptional situations when I had to be there for him when he felt like he was all alone.  As a good friend, we can always look after for one another.  And he was also there for me during my own struggles.

Through time, I always notice that he has this kind of attitude towards me.  Every time we converse, he will always find a way in order to inject something into our conversation.  He has this style of coming up with a good segue and hit me point blank.  And he will always have a good laugh after that.

At first, I tried to restrain myself and set aside whatever hurt I feel towards him.  Maybe, it was just a particular situation in our lives where friends throw something at us and we don't have to feel bad about it.  As a friend, I tried my best to ride on to his funny antics because he is good at that.  But, all throughout this time, he makes it a habit already without caution nor restraint.  I don't know if it is my fault ignoring him because I come to realize that he is actually bullying me in the process.  And I don't know if being a friend, he finds joy in his actions.

One time, when I was so down and struggling, I encountered another bullying act from him.  I tried to figure out the best possible way in order to tell him that that would be the last time he will ever bully me.  I told him that is bullying me.  That I don't find it amusing but degrading and every time he does that, he is pulling down my morale and self-worth.  That as a friend, you don't find joy in someone else's flaw and throw it before his face time and again.  That such act regards no respect to someone you call as a friend.

Someone told me that when a person bullies somebody, that person is also being bullied.  It is his way of dealing with his own struggles, to pass on the bullying act.  Maybe, it is already deeply rooted in his character and for this reason, he can no longer distinguish what is a joke and what is bullying.  He is no longer aware that what he is doing time and again is an act of bullying.  

As a friend, we can crack a joke or two towards our friend.  At all times, we have to hold our horses because we don't have all the freedom in the world to make fun with our friends especially if it is below the belt.  Hitting a friend below the belt time and again, even if it is just a joke, is not a good act coming from a friend.  Remember that jokes are half-meant.  And when verbal abuse or bullying comes into play, it becomes a direct assault towards the person and the harm has been done already.

Though my so-called friend already said sorry, I am still in the healing process - both with my own struggles and from his bullying act.  I guess time will tell if our ties will remain steadfast or it will simply break loose.  Let's see.