Moment 59 - Healing Mass

Last week, I attended a healing mass. The mass celebrant was father Joey Faller, a healing priest from Lucban, Quezon and has been officiating this kind of mass for 14 years now. Bad for me, I was not able to bring my camera for the reason that I was not in the mood for taking pictures and much to my regret, I was not able to have a picture of him. But since he is a famous priest, one can simply google search for his name.

I had my encounter with healing masses before but it never occurred to me that I'll be participating in one of these healing sessions. I guess, I was not yet ready that time.  I can still remember when we had a trip last year to Batangas where I was practically busy taking pictures of the ongoing healing mass, the participants literally fall to the floor after the anointing of the priest. One good friend, Leo, asked me to participate and for me to experience what it's gonna like falling to the floor and if it is really true. But I beg off since this kind of ceremony is not a laughing matter, not an experiment, nor to test the power of the Holy One.

As father Joey Faller carried the holy sacrament around the venue and repeatedly reciting illnesses that need to be healed, we were asked to kneel and raise our hands toward the holy sacrament. In the midst of silence (except of course for the voice of father Joey Faller) and offering myself to the Lord, I knelt on the floor and I raised my hands as high as I could reach just like the rest of the attendees that fruitful afternoon. It was an occasion where you can simply let go all those resentments, hatreds, and anxieties in your heart and you may cry as you wish where nobody dare not look at you nor question you. And with the current struggles I am facing right now, yes, I let go all those burdens and offer them to the Lord. I was not ashamed to let my tears roll down in my cheeks. I repeatedly asked the Lord to take control of my life, and I asked for enough strength to sustain my day to day existence. It was a liberating experience to think that I have been struggling for nine months now and I know that I cannot simply make it this far without His ever constant care and love.

When people started to line up and father Joey Faller touched them to be healed, I participated likewise. As I fall in line, my knees where trembling and my heart was beating fast because it will be just me and my Maker in a while. There were so many things that entered in my mind and as I came closer to be blessed and healed, I slowly emptied my mind. As father Joey touched the people, I watched them fall, one after the other There was even one that screamed uncontrollably. I could not help myself to ask about my predicament when my turn comes. We had been oriented to simply let go and never fight nor resist the force because some will feel differently like passing out, a sudden chill, crying, or just like the one before me, screaming like you're the only person around.  And when I fall in line, I have to admit that I was still nervous but I kept on reciting that I am offering myself to the Lord. My hands were open and a bit extended from my chest with the sides touching each other, I closed my eyes and repeatedly saying "Lord, I offer myself to You." But I have to admit that at the back of my mind, some reservations do still exist.

In this particular moment, when you are placed in a situation that looks like it is just you and the Lord, the hardest thing to do is to make excuses. I felt like my whole existence was playing before my consciousness and I share them with the Lord. And all I have to do was to wait for Him to say something. It was like a dry run before my meeting with the Lord and to be honest, it was one exciting moment yet dreadful. I don't know if my sinful existence could land me a place in heaven and perhaps with this experience, I will be much more particular with my salvation rather than with my temporary existence in this world.

When I finally heard the voice of father Joey approaching, I let out a long breath and offered  myself to the Lord. And when father Joey finally touched my hand, I was waiting to fall with my strength leaving me. But there was only a tingling jolt and I just made a single step backwards and it was over. I was still on my feet and when I faced the crowd, I was no longer ashamed and frightened. There was a sense of fulfillment and a renewed faith that my heart embraced and I hope that in the coming days, I will be able to sustain this experience.

As I reflect with my encounters that day, maybe, when I fall in line and waited to be healed, my heart was already free from hatred and resentments. Maybe, when I poured earlier all my sufferings and asked for forgiveness and salvation, I don't have to experience to fall and weakened nor scream with so much remorse. Maybe, when I offered myself to the Lord together with all the troubles that I have been carrying all along, I was already healed. And when father Joey touched me, it was just a confirmation that the Lord is still looking after me. Amen.