Yesterday, it was already late in the morning and I was still in bed, enjoying a free day. Suddenly my phone rang and the voice at the other end of the line came from my best friend, Bong. When he asked me if I have receive a latest news regarding someone we know and his choice of words were subtle, my mind was thinking of the unthinkable already. And he dropped the bad news.
I have known Ramnie for more than a decade already. Though I am not really that close to him, at some point in time, we mostly shared some fun moments together. He was a person full of life, always smiling and warm.
Two years ago, I happened to see him during the wake of his wife. His college sweetheart and wife died a month after giving birth to their only son. She suffered from a congenital illness.
August of last year, I attended the first birthday party of his son. In the party, I was reunited again with his circle of friends whom I've known and have a good association also. It was like traveling back to the distant past when we still used to share some good times together. After almost a decade, though we have our own affairs, we still maintain the kind of friendship that we have since we've known each other.
Since the time when I visited the wake of his wife, we began texting one another. It was like rekindling our friendship. Through time, I have not sensed anything wrong about him because he still have dreams especially for his son. And I think that he has a good disposition in life despite of the loss of his wife. But something went wrong.
Though I am clueless about his dealings with his own family, work, and friends, it never occurred to me that he will end his own life. As of this writing, the feeling of losing another friend has not yet sink in. In the process, our community is reaching out to one another regarding Ramnie's untimely demise. We are still clueless about the truth behind his death. But one thing could be certain. He had already reached and faced a wall so tall and strong that he could not conquer and he could not find his way out either. And he just snapped. He was 29.
To a good friend, Ramnie, I can only offer my constant prayers to you hoping and believing that you'll find peace where ever you are now. So long, my friend. May your soul rest in the caring hands of our Lord. Amen.
Postscript
Together with my best friend, Bong, we went this night (Oct 4) to the wake of Ramnie at San Juan.. When we arrived there, we were the only visitors. And after several minutes, Ramnie's work buddies arrived.
Ramnie's mother sat with us and little by little she shed light to their tragic loss. My earlier hunch was indeed true. With the opportunity to talk to his mother, more gray areas were cleared. I knew she was trying to compose herself, pretending to be strong beside the coffin of his only son. But from time to time, the lump in her throat and the tone of her voice revealed that her love, despite of what they both went through, is an undying one. And her parting message embodied a true Christian who is firm in her faith. She said, "If only my son embraced and put Jesus Christ in his heart, then, he could not possible gave in to the call of the dark side. Sadly, he chose his own destiny."
Before we left the chapel, as I tucked in a white envelop on the plastic cup on top of the coffin's glass, Ramnie's remains came into a full view. I have qualms over viewing remains for I oftentimes carry the scene in my dreams that could last for a long time. And most of the time, my dreams are not good. But this time, much as I wanted to avoid seeing Ramnie for the last time, I still managed to see him. And he looked like having a deep sleep and at peace. I bid him farewell for the last time and my tears started to form. I felt a sudden thrust in my chest and if I spent more time in front of the coffin, most likely I'll cry in silence.
I'll definitely miss the man. Though I saw his lifeless face, I still have a picture of him in my mind smiling. This time around, I am not afraid to dream because I know that when I dream of him, I'll see him alive and full of spirit. Again, sweet dreams Ramnie and may you'll rest in peace.
Postscript
Together with my best friend, Bong, we went this night (Oct 4) to the wake of Ramnie at San Juan.. When we arrived there, we were the only visitors. And after several minutes, Ramnie's work buddies arrived.
Ramnie's mother sat with us and little by little she shed light to their tragic loss. My earlier hunch was indeed true. With the opportunity to talk to his mother, more gray areas were cleared. I knew she was trying to compose herself, pretending to be strong beside the coffin of his only son. But from time to time, the lump in her throat and the tone of her voice revealed that her love, despite of what they both went through, is an undying one. And her parting message embodied a true Christian who is firm in her faith. She said, "If only my son embraced and put Jesus Christ in his heart, then, he could not possible gave in to the call of the dark side. Sadly, he chose his own destiny."
Before we left the chapel, as I tucked in a white envelop on the plastic cup on top of the coffin's glass, Ramnie's remains came into a full view. I have qualms over viewing remains for I oftentimes carry the scene in my dreams that could last for a long time. And most of the time, my dreams are not good. But this time, much as I wanted to avoid seeing Ramnie for the last time, I still managed to see him. And he looked like having a deep sleep and at peace. I bid him farewell for the last time and my tears started to form. I felt a sudden thrust in my chest and if I spent more time in front of the coffin, most likely I'll cry in silence.
I'll definitely miss the man. Though I saw his lifeless face, I still have a picture of him in my mind smiling. This time around, I am not afraid to dream because I know that when I dream of him, I'll see him alive and full of spirit. Again, sweet dreams Ramnie and may you'll rest in peace.
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