Poem 37 - Bless Me, O Lord

Bless me, o Lord
And bless my soul, too
For all my shortcomings
And those I failed to do.

I know that my existence
Is not worthy of Your glance
Have pity, o Lord
Give me another chance.

I am ashamed of myself
For sinning in countless ways
Pardon me, o Lord
Don't deprive me of Thy grace.

Bless me, o Lord
And bless my soul, too
My bewildered life is lost
My soul is dying also.

I don't have what it takes
To be a child in Your fold
Have mercy, o Lord
Don't let go of Your hold.

I am struggling to survive
To follow the righteous path
Be kind on me, o Lord
Don't forsake me with Thy wrath.

Bless me, o Lord
And bless my soul, too
Without You, I am nothing
My life and soul, I surrender to You.

Quote 74 - Friends

Moment 37 - Reminiscing Ondoy

How time flies. It's just like several months ago when Metro Manila and other neighboring provinces were hit by typhoon Ondoy and so many lives were affected and changed afterwards.

These pictures were taken at Quezon Boulevard underpass when its pumping station did not work during the onslaught of typhoon Ondoy. For the first time(?) in the history of Manila, a massive amount of water filled the Quezon Boulevard underpass and turned it into a gigantic swimming pool.

By dawn the following day, the folks within the vicinity turned the flooded underpass into a public swimming pool. Though it looked like business as usual, the sight of the major underpass in the city of Manila was uncommon. People, including me, could not help ourselves but to stop and stare for a while due to this unbelievable sight.

Even the lamp post was turned into a diving board by brave and adventurous individuals. I could not believe my eyes seeing these people flocked the lamp post and jumped into the water to their heart's content. It was indeed a spectacular sight (if you may consider it) seeing an activity like this one in the middle of a once busy underpass. 

The city of Manila used several firetrucks and it took several days to actually drain it.

Today, two years after, typhoon Pedring hits the country. It seems like history is repeating itself.

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Quote 73 - Holding On

Random Thought 37 - Precious Moment

When we spend some time with people, even if some of them are not close to us, we may never know that we are actually spending a precious moment with them.

There are occasions when we think that the little amount of time spent with our friends or acquaintances is just an ordinary one. At times we are totally clueless about their state and that whatever little amount of time we spend with them, we don't know that we are actually helping them in the process. I guess if we are a bit sensitive about others, we can share a bit of ourselves and a bit of our time with them and who knows, these bits of us could mean so much for them.

And who knows, sometime in the near future, we might be needing the same amount of attention from our friends. The same amount of attention and time that will prove to be the most precious moment for us when life will shake us.

Food Trip 36 - Chocolate Cinnamon Cake

I just love chocolates. 

One time, in no particular reason, I tried another cake flavor. I usually go for my favorite chocolate cake, the one coated with chocolate and its inside is stuffed with chocolate syrup.  Though it was somewhat different, still it was a chocolate cake. Haha. It is really hard for me to get out from my comfort zone.

Honestly, when I tasted this one, it is not that sweet compared to my favorite chocolate cake. It's sweetness is just right and the addition of cinnamon brings some form of  a delight once tasted. And since the texture of the cake is soft and smooth, it simply disappears fast in my mouth. Hmmm. Yummy.

Exploring Philippines 36 - Vigan (Post 7 - the Villa)

On our third night, after dinner, Jay's grandmother brought us to a villa within the town proper. Since it was an unexpected activity that night, I forgot to bring my tripod.

The villa (name withheld) is huge and is open 24 hours a day. They have affordable rooms for two, family, or even a group. The moment you set foot on the receiving area, the poster of Tom Cruise with his dedication can be seen right away. This villa was part of the filming of his movie Born on the 4th of July.

Our stay and exploration of the villa could had been longer if not for the words uttered by Jay's grandmother before leaving us that night. She dropped us and leave right away because she could not afford to miss her favorite tv shows. But before she leave, she told us to be careful about taking pictures for we might include a headless human figure.

As we wander around the villa, we had to keep our voices low because there were guests occupying some rooms that time. Some rooms don't have their lights on and though we wanted to take a peek, our dreadful expectations of something supernatural that could happen refrain us of our curiosity. And since we were already given an idea what to expect in a place like this one, we tried to behave and act with caution all throughout of our stay.

Well, maybe since we'd been told some scary stuff about this place, the entity of the villa could had retreated in the shadows. Jay told me that there was a story about a young woman who spent her night alone in the living room, passing some time. Then, an old lady  entered the room and conversed with her. The following day, she recognized the old lady from a picture hanging in the wall of the living room and she could not believe her ears when she was told that the old lady in the picture already passed away.

Though we did not encounter something spooky, it could had been an added experience if we encountered a hair-raising one. But I guess, it was better that way.

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Poem 36 - Sige Na Nga

Talagang walang duda
Na totoong mahal ko sya
At wala ng iba pa
Tanging sya lang talaga.

Kay tagal kong inantay
Upang sya'y makapiling
Taon man ang inabot
Sya lang ang tanging hiling.

Mahirap magtiis at magtimpi
Pag malayo ang mahal
Subalit lahat ay natiis ko
Matawag man akong hangal.

Subalit ang isang takda
Ay mahirap kalabanin
Ang tangi kong minimithi
Inihip lang ng hangin.

Ipaglaban ko daw
Kung ano ang akin
Pero di ko sya pag-aari
At di ko dapat angkinin.

Mahirap man tanggapin
Pero pag di sadyang laan
Kahit anong pilit mo
Ito'y walang kabuluhan.

Sige na nga
Kahit wala akong napala
Kung sadyang ayaw niya
Wala akong magagawa.

Sige na nga
Masakit mang tanggapin
Kung talagang ayaw
Ipapalipad ko na lang sa hangin.

Quote 72 - Dreams

Moment 36 - Mother and Child

I chanced upon this scene when we had our stopover somewhere in Benguet coming from  Bontoc and going to Baguio. We were spared some time to find the best bargain, mostly of vegetables, which we should be able to bring home to Manila. Immediately, several of my colleagues rushed to several stalls and bought fresh mountain vegetable produce.

The moment I stepped out of the bus, the picture of a woman carrying a child on her back caught my attention. Actually, I wanted to buy some lettuce and other stuff because the prices of vegetables were as low as five pesos. But since this picture of woman and child appeared before me, I immediately pursue them over the low-priced vegies. 

I tried to pursue them but due to their nature of being aloof to strangers, I found it hard to make a decent shot. The woman was very particular with my camera and that she would shy away from me whenever I point my camera at them.

I went over to talk to her for a possible shot but she cannot understand Tagalog nor English. Luckily, her fellow vendors became my instant translators and she was hesitant at first. I told her that I will buy some of her stuff after our shoot, only then she granted my request.

I knew that she was very particular about time and for every bus that came along would mean an income on her part. I, too, was particular with the time because we were only given a small amount of time to find our best buys and we still had several hours to cover before reaching Baguio City.

Since time was so precious and we cannot understand each other, I had to make gestures to guide her where to stand. I cannot guide her about the kind of pose I wanted and the kind of background I would prefer due to language barrier and time constraint. I had to make the most of what I had that time.

After several shots, I thanked her a lot and I ended handing her some amount which I promised earlier . But I did not take any of her items since I don't have a spare bag to put them in nor I wanted to carry extra kilos upon returning to Manila.

Up to this time, how I wish I can chance again this kind of opportunity to capture a moment like this and make a good composition out of it. The portrait of a woman and a child really etched some kind of feeling that move me every time I look at it.

Quote 71 - Life

Random Thought 36 - Surrender

Though living, an every day struggle with the monster that lurks just behind my back is indeed a life that nobody wants to have. I don't know how much time I've left to hold unto my dear sanity before my world explodes.

And when hope is near to impossible and out of reach, when everything seems falling apart, when frustrations and hopelessness embraces my heart, there is only one thing that I should not let go - the very reason why I am still alive.

For several months now, I am trying to survive one day at a time. With the help of family and friends, I happened to hurdle all those nightmares and fears. But in moments when I am all alone, that's the time when I am at my lowest moment and the monster behind me tries to swallow me alive. There is no escaping this monster. I can't run away from it. I can scream all I want but it will be of no help.

And here I am, surrendering myself. I submit myself to the Lord. I know that my earthly existence is troublesome and most of the challenges, I can't hurdle by myself. At times, everyday battles are tortures and time comes when I get too weary to hold on and fight back.  But I know, all throughout my battles, the good Lord never leaves my side. And in moments when I find it impossible to exist and live, He alone sustains my existence.

And as I close my eyes tonight, I am surrendering myself again to Him. If ever I will wake up tomorrow, He still wants me to live and in His hands I lay every second of my existence. So be it.

Food Trip 35 - Pomelo

By just the thought of this fruit makes me actually crave for it. And when I crave for it, I would make time to go to Divisoria or Quiapo and bring home at least two kilos of pomelo.

I cannot exactly recall my first taste of the sweet and mouth watering pomelo. But if I am not mistaken, someone brought home some pomelos from Davao which tastes far sweeter than in any parts of the country (correct me if I am wrong). Since then, I am always particular about pomelos from Davao. If I am not sure of its origin, I will politely ask for a free taste whenever possible.

Some say that pomelo is good in lowering the body's sugar count. Though I am not diabetic, I regard this one as a good fruit and as much as possible I try to bring home some if I can find a sweet one. 

But there's one downside (if you may call it) about this fruit - your discharge smells awful. Well, eat it at your own risk. :)

Exploring Philippines 35 - Vigan (Post 6 - Mindoro Beach)

For some reasons, we were not able to visit other places in Ilocos. For almost the whole day, we simply spent our idle time staying away from the heat of the sun. 

It was late in the afternoon when Jay and I drove to a town near the Vigan airport. I thought  there is only one Mindoro, an island near Batangas. But in Vigan, there is also a place named Mindoro.  According to Jay, they oftentimes visit the Mindoro beach whenever they wanted to go for a swim. We'd been warned by the grandfather of Jay to be careful about the beach because of its uneven and sudden dropping slopes but we don't have any plans that time to go for a swim.

We happened to met some local fisher folks, harvesting some fingerlings. I am actually quite aware how the fingerlings are being counted. At first, it would be challenge to a newbie because the fingerlings seem to be transparent. But it is simply getting used to activity and eventually, your eyes will be trained in counting the small fishes.

After some time, I asked some locals for a shoot. I was so thankful that the people here are also friendly and I had no hard time asking them. And as usual, the kids are always the best participants in a photo shoot. They are agile, full of life, and very much eager to be part of an activity. I must admit that as our photo shoot progressed, I was even more challenged to truly capture the lively atmosphere of my models. Many thanks to them and it was indeed fun.

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Poem 35 - Cry

I walk away with a heavy heart
I am trying to hold back the tears
It is such a sad and lonely night
Where I've to embrace all my fears.

I walk under the pouring rain
I let go the tears beyond seeing
I get soak from head to toe
Hoping to drain the pain that's lingering.

I'll do my crying in the rain
And conceal the pain and the tears
It is better to cry this way
It is not obvious, no one cares.

I walk along the shadows of the night
Unafraid of what might be lurking there
I don't care what lies within
I don't think they'll give me a good scare.

I walk as if the road never ends
Home is so far away to find
I can't find directions in traffic lights
I've been walking like I'm blind.

I'll do my crying in the shadows
For others not to see what's in my face
Street lights may show a glimpse of me
But I can hide my face for it to be clueless.

I'll cry with the rain
And I'll cry in the shadow
Some things are worth it
Which are hard to forgo.

I can endure the pain
And embrace my suffering
If this is the only way
Towards a new beginning.

Quote 70 - Smile

Moment 35 - Dranzer Dice

After a photo shoot in our photography class, I chanced upon a group of cosplayers. Actually, it has been an ardent desire of mine to participate not as a cosplayer but in taking pictures of these guys.

Anyway, given the very limited time (it was nearly dark) as well as the constant checking of the guard on duty (because the park was about to close), I was thankful about the warm accommodation of Dranzer Dice.

Dranzer Dice played a vampire character and he gamely posed for us. He had no qualms whatsoever in granting our requests about how he should deliver his poses. And he is so serious internalizing the character that he portrayed that time.

After a quick chat with him, I learned that he is an active cosplayer and together with other cosplayers, they participate in a monthly gathering of cosplayers in a mall. And his role as a vampire that time was just one of many characters he portrays.

I am extra grateful about the said encounter and hopefully, given an ample amount of time, we can engage in future challenging photo shoots. Again, my heartfelt gratitude to Dranzer Dice.

Quote 69 - Friends

Random Thought 35 - Angel

Heaven works in mysterious ways.

I always thought that angels stay in heaven. I happen to entertain the idea that heaven sends an angel to us in moments where we needed help the most. And that our guardian angel eventually goes back to heaven if everything is okay already.

I guess I am wrong. I must admit that I haven't seen an angel, a winged person that comes from heaven. Though I used to portray one when I was still a child, still, I have no recollection whatsoever of seeing the real one. But on my part, not to see is still believing that they actually exist.

My angels don't actually have wings. They are just like you and me. And I am extremely thankful for them because during the most crucial and challenging moments of my life, they are there just like those angels coming down from the heaven.

Heaven is really, really great for sending these people to me. The heaven could have known that one angel is not enough for me that's why it sends several angels to aid and rescue me. The good heaven knows the perfect moment for these angels to come into my life and for sure it knows also about the times when I badly needed them the most.

To all my angels who continuously support and spend some precious time with me, thank you for spreading your wings for me especially in moments when I have troubles spreading mine.

Food Trip 34 - Sinantol

My girlfriend introduced sinantol to me and she said that it is one delicacy in Quezon Province. At first, I thought it was a joke because I had known santol all my life as a fruit and not as a vegetable. I got curious that time and true enough, it was good. 

Yesterday, I attended a birthday party from the side of my girlfriend and sinantol was one of the food being served. I tried to recall its taste but my last taste of it was a long, long time ago and no matter how I tried, my taste bud was helpless.  But since I got the liking of this dish before and I wanted to have a recollection of its taste, I fondly got a modest serving.  And when I tasted it, I immediately had a flashback of my first taste of this dish and I easily associate it with our own version using the meat of the unripe jack fruit.

The pulp of santol is shredded, mashed with salt, and rinsed with water for 2 to 3 times in order to get rid of its bitter taste. The santol pulp is then boiled together with onions, tomatoes, garlic, sili, and fresh coconut cream. The moment the coconut cream is cooked, the dish is now seasoned to taste and is ready to serve.  Likewise, an addition of crabs, shrimps, and/or shredded fish meat will further enhance its taste.

Exploring Philippines 34 - Vigan (Post 5 - Night at Vigan)

We spent our second night at Vigan's town plaza and at the heritage village.

We were at the town's plaza after 10pm. The plaza is well lighted. And even at this particular time of the night, we had seen some locals hanging around at the plaza.

I bravely took my camera out, with Jay as my look out. Actually, one need to be cautious about taking pictures in areas where one's security will be at risk. Since we seldom see people passing by and a security outpost nearby, I took my chances. It was indeed fun taking pictures this time of the night since there were less people which means less interruption.

We literally spent our sweet time taking pictures, moving from one place to another. We took several shots of the town's plaza, the church of Vigan, some structures, and the heritage village. 

It was really fun and the experience was good for the soul. I was so thankful about this wonderful experience because I had a rare opportunity to go out at night in a place where it was almost close to tranquil and the scene is great where I may not get tired capturing its beauty. Such an experience is always a treasure for me. 

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